Saturday, 9 April 2011

The crushing realisation...

...that you're trying to use your department key to get into your house.

Tuesday, 5 April 2011


So, one of my friends made the mistake of sending me this. (Sorry for linkage, but it is pretty goddam funny so worth reading). It reminded me of the completely fucking amazing Powerthirst viral youtube thingy.

 I therefore decided that the sensible thing to do would be to try this.

With high caffeine content coffee.

I mean, what can go wrong, right?
Coffee. With flames on. WITH FLAMES ON PEOPLE!

So, two cafetieres, ready to go. The suspense was killing me. I mean, would this even be drinkable? WOULD I BECOME INVINCIBLE? WOULD I BE ABLE TO DO SO MUCH MATHS THE WORLD WOULD EXPLODE?
Please note the GDBO mug. No other mug could hold a beverage so potent.

(May not have actually happened.)

OK, so I really only did some adding and that a bit more quickly, but I was rather energetic. FOR FOUR WHOLE HOURS.
It was also pretty disgusting to be honest. And also quite...thick tasting. This could easily be taken to higher powers too - triple coffee, quadruple coffee, (coffee)^10... At what point this stops becoming a beverage and starts becoming solid/alive/biohazard, I would not like to guess.

But yes. Doublecoffeeohmygod.

Other stuff that's happened apart from me making coffee is of course HBR,aka "The real boat race", etc etc. I was my first time watching it, and it was WEIRD. Powerless to do anything, but feeling the pain of losing and the the raw joy of winning all the same. It was emotional to say the least. More emotional than I thought it would be too: the memories and the pain of my two loses (rage) were dragged up raw to the surface.

It really is an odd race, a weird system. Your whole season is summed up in the outcome of one race. One seven minute race. Past successes are inconsequential, future successes don't matter. I did two of these in the blue boat, one in 2009 and the second the following year. Losing the first one was bewildering. More confusion then pain. Losing the second was devastating. Don't really know how to explain it really. It sounds really pathetic, but it was stuff like hearing Oxford cheering when they cross the finish line, and you still have a bunch more strokes to row, the fucking pity clapping on the row home. Christ. Bad times.

But yes, before I get lost in the midsts of time. Watching it having done it, the emotion was pretty intense.

First up was Blondie/Osiris. Something weird happened with Oxford steering into Cambridge, not moving, repeatedly refusing to move. Ended up with Blondie catching an epic boat stopping crab and having to restart. We (the dudes in blazers on the banks) all though they'd lost and had no clue what had happened further down the course.
 Then we heard Osiris had been disqualified and the bank exploded.

Next up were the lightweight women. AND THEY WERE IN THE FUCKING LEAD.
And then I rather pathetically had a little cry.
I told you it was emotional.

Then, 3pm. The two women's blue boats. Fuck. This is it. This is what I came here to see. Fuck fuck fuck just fucking win please just fucking win.

The bank went quiet, trying to hear the announcer. Come on. Come on. Fuck fuck fuck.

They came past were I was standing, with Cambridge 1/2 a length down.
No no no no no no no no no.
Fuck it. Day ruined. I walked back to Leander boat club to de-rigg their boat. (There's a semi-informal tradition that old blues and that de rigg the boat after the race.
Bad times. I didn't even see the lightweight men, which was a shame because although they lost too they were fucking heroic (rate ~42 down the whole course? Fuck. Me.)

There was a ball afterwards, but I am always a bit shit at stuff like that. Probably because it involves dresses.


Other stuff other stuff. Change the subject.

I have been a rather self-pitying pathetic human being at the moment to be honest. Went out for a scull in my boat to cheer myself up a bit and I was shit. Like really shit. OK, so there was a tricky tailwind but still. It was like I'd never been in a boat before.
It's always a bit upsetting when you're not as good as you were at something, but I made my choice in November when I stopped training like a mental. If you want to be good at rowing you have to do it. A lot. And I'm going to have to accept that. I just wish I could get over myself and stop beating myself up about it so much.

Oh Jesus you self pitying bastard.

Sorry, this is probably making exceptionally crap reading. Hmm. OK. I different tack. Here is a picture of a baby meerkat!
From here. For all your baby animal picture needs.

Baby platypuses are called "puggles". And they are awesome. Even more awesome than doublecoffee!
I also happen to be a fan of anteaters, so here's one:

See! I have a beanie baby anteater and everything!
 On that bombshell, I bid you goodnight.
P.S. Exams are looming, so I am very likely to lose all grip on reality/sanity soon.

Just to warn you.