Saturday, 7 May 2011

A Cambridge exam term

OK, don't get me wrong. Cambridge is a badgering weird place, no doubt about it. Hell, it even has it's own reality checkpoint (and a goddam wikipedia article about it!). But in exam term it gets worse.

Here are some examples (sorry, you'll probably have to click on some of the pictures to make them bigger - I got a bit carried away with GRAPHS because I like GRAPHS and when you start drawing pictures on GRAPHS they get rather big. I've also treated you the amazing picture quality of my scanner >> taking photos of drawings with a camera, which is a bit shit but surprisingly efficient.)

A weird fog of panic descends over my college library every year for the last ~6 weeks before exams. It's fucking horrible. But they DO have DVDs in there now, including Seven Samurai (which some BASTARD has renewed), David Attenborough and hilariously trashy stuff like "The Devil Wears Prada". I think the librarian went on Amazon while on magic mushrooms or something.
My (and I suspect most people's diets) just go to shit. Like eating cereal all the time. ALL THE TIME.
When "A meal" = "several cups of coffee", you know you have fucking issues. Especially when you think it's fine to supplement this with "biscuits from the departmental coffee time" (well, they are free...).

I have also eaten 4 creme eggs for lunch once (someone keeps anoynomously leaving them on my desk! Honest!). I do not recommend this. There is a fucking reason you need to eat vegetables, mainly relating to your digestive system not going "OK, seriously Railton. What the christing fuck are you DOING TO ME?!?!?!?".  Urgh.

But anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. I give you the rage-o-meter. (Which is by no means complete. A complete version I fear would take up the whole of my new 1.5TB external hard drive (it's so SHINY....) ).



Anyway on the subject of libraries one of the most badgering annoying things about them is the stage whispering. This is whispering that isn't real whispering because it's too fucking loud, and is instead just the right decibel level and breathy enough to be UNBELIEVABLY FACE-PLANTING DESK ANNOYING.

I might (almost certainly) being just a bit weird about this, but it really fucks me off. Big time. I mean, I can hear every word you say anyway, why not just say it in a less annoying voice? Jeez. Here is the dramatised version of library dramatic whispering rage:

  I think this maybe the reason that all the 3 years students in the Institute of Astronomy library find me a bit .....intimidating.... No doubt they probably know me as "the weird 4th year girl with mugs with swearing on" or something.

I think I would make an awesome librarian though. I'd sort out annoying people with the help of sarcastic, sweary signs.
These could have loads of practical applications. Like dispensing fashion advice...

...or improving late return statistics.

Best. Librarian. Ever.
Good night!

**EDIT** Apologies for brevity/shitness/poor frequency of posts. I'm a bit snowed under, sorry!