Wednesday, 22 December 2010

I FOUND MY LEGO!!!! (Or, 'The Railtons Do Christmas')

Pretty much the first thing I did upon getting home was FIND MY GODDAM LEGO. Therefore, logically, the obligatory festive blog post is going to be told via the wonderful medium of lego knights.

I try to do some work

See. Working. Working very hard indeed.
OH FUCK!!!! A FUCKING DRAGON!!!

It's alright. I think they sorted it.
A caffeinated beverage is require. Dragon slaying is tiring.

TAKE THAT YOU STAPLER-Y BASTARD!

Fuuuuuuuuucccccccckkkkkkkkk.

Poke.
                                              Poke.
Poke.                                    
QUIT IT!

        Poke.

Argh! Get it off! GEDDITOFF! *flail*
 Yeah. I wasn't doing much work.

I moved to attacking Christmas decorations.
I is in your Advent Calender, eating your chocolate.
 Little bastard ate my Twirl.

Vague Father Christmas abuse.

Quite serious baby penguin abuse.

OK, OK. When I first took this I really didn't consider the *ahem* slightly NSFW aspects of this photo. I am really quite thick when it comes to making mistakes like this. My excuse: the polystryene underbelly was the only place I could get the sword into. (I am not a baby penguin deflowering lunatic and do not endorse such activities.)
How to ask for stuff for Christmas

It's simple. Just leave catalogues lying around with helpful annotations.
I also quite fancy one of those cool fire-making thingys on the bottom of the page. I could then carry fire on my keyring! Then if someone was like "Oh, I really wish I could light a fire right now" I could be like "I HAVE THE POWER!".

A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.

But mainly I want a hammock (who doesn't?).

How to deal with The Dog

I have a bit of an issue with the dog. It keeps staring at me. I think it's due to the fact that I wasn't around when she was a puppy, so now I'm some sort of weird evil dragon lady or something.

That and I tried to put lego on her and photograph it. That didn't go down well. Not in the slightest.

But anyway, the dog hates me. Her method of attack? Intense staring.

Staring. Always FUCKING STARING.
 I tried reasoning with her.
 Eventually, I did what any normal person would do and ran in the face of such powerful hatred rays.
 She doesn't just reserve this staring thing for me though. A couple of days ago she came into my room where I was actually doing some work (I know!!! :-o) and proceeded to stare at the radiator for a good minute or so.
 A minute is actually a long time when your just looking at an inmovable object which is, to be perfectly honest, very unlikely to do anything interesting any time soon. But that is what she did.

She eventually decided it wasn't going to eat her and fell asleep in front of it.
I don't understand dogs at all.

Decorating a Christmas cake (The Railton way)

The lego tried to help, but to be honest they were a bit crap. They've just not got the dexterity in those little hands of theirs.
OMFG! "Regal-Ice" means it belongs to me, right?
A really unhelpful attempt at cutting the cake

The marzipan MUST DIE.

Om nom nom nom.
 So yes, they turned out to be quite shit at cake decorating. Plan B: Intense Railton Concentration Face.
Must. Knead. Icing. Well.

My sisters didn't quite grasp the gravity of the situation, deciding to play with my camera instead.

This one doesn't even wear glasses. Even the dog is confused. And still staring.
SIBLINGS: If you take stupid pictures of yourselves on my camera, they are going to end up on my blog, OK?

:-)

But anyway, that icing was very well kneaded. By the power of my Concentration Face. That is one powerful concentration face.

So, lots of INTENSE CONCENTRATION and two hours later, the sum total of the Railton family's efforts is this, The Christmas Cake 2010:
The dog is STILL STARING!!!!

(I made the rug, sofa and clock. GO ME! :-D)
 The binge-drinking Merlin is unlikely to form part of the cake on Christmas day. Mainly because he's scared shitless of that massive, staring icing-dog.

But yes, GO GO TEAM RAILTON.

Anyway ANYWAY. I'm tired and need sleep. There's only one thing left to say and that is I hope you all have a great Christmas and aren't all screwed over by National Rail/BA/Eurostar etc. in your various bids to get home.

See you in the New Year! (There are going to be T-SHIRTS!!!)

All the best,

Anna

6 comments:

  1. T-shirts! Are they going to say "Wait! I've only got one fucking blade! *flail*"?

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  2. Yes! One of them will definitely be that one :-) Probably with "SCULLER" underneath in big letters or sommat.

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  3. Yay, lego! I could do with some of the power of the Intense Concentration Face ... I am realising that after 6 months of working like a normal person, I am in danger of losing my ability to work like a Cambridge Student (far too hard, doing far too many things, half of which are impossible, and getting them done anyway because you JUST KEEP GOING)

    Having said that, I have made, like, 150+ chocolates today (in 6 flavours, about 20-25 in each flavour). So you know, still capable of getting some things done.

    Merry Christmas!

    --Carol

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  4. 150 chocolates? Wow! *impressed*

    But yes, Merry Christmas Eudoxia! :-)

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  5. Well the cake certainly got my vote. We always had traditional white icing fluffed up into snow hills and drifts. For some reason we had about 7 Santas in the cake decorations box and one year I created a "Santa Claus Convention" decoration.... wish I'd photographed it. You would have been impressed.

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  6. @RCaroe - Love the Santa Claus Convention idea :-D

    I did take great joy in eating that sofa this year. Oh yes :-)

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