Intensely annoying people 1 - Train station faffers

I expect my documentation of people I find irritating to become an ongoing thing, and I'll begin with people who are really really slooooooooooooooooooooowwwwww in front of automated ticket barriers. If you don't use trains much, you probably won't appreciate just how mind-blowingly frustrating this is.

I will set the scene a little:

• It is before 7am.
• You have <2mins to get on your train from arriving in the station (who wants to get up earlier to hang around in Cambridge station?)
• You have just spent a stupid amount on a ticket, so your debit card is crying a little.

My debit card should be taken into care.

 You are then confronted by this:

Yes, two women have decided to have a conversation in front of the luggagey/bikey ticket barrier. Who the hell wants to talk about X factor at that time in the morning anyway?  And can someone PLEASE explain the point of mini-ryvitas? Why don't you just take a normal one, bash it into bits and put it in a sandwich bag or something? I expect it is all to do with the current school of thought that

SMALL = CUTE AND AWESOME

When it comes to T-rexes, this is certainly not the case:

Massive over-generalisation FTW!

I must learn how to drop-kick stuff in case this ever happens.

OR

I think that proves my point. Everyone should eat normal sized ryvitas.

ANYWAY, being British, I of course didn't say anything to the offending people in my way. I just glowered in what I thought was an intimidating manner. My death ray glare obviously got through eventually and they made a move to GO THROUGH THE BLOODY TICKET BARRIER LIKE REASONABLE HUMAN BEINGS.

Of course, they had put the tickets they had bought minutes before in their purses, wrapped them in clingfilm, tin foil and sellotape and and buried them in their handbags. For safe keeping. For the 2 metre walk from the ticket machine to the barriers. 

I am starting to get what is commonly known as "seriously fucked off."

They find their tickets! Yay!!!111!!!1111!!! 

Then: