- Single: "Are you looking for hot singles in your area? :-D" NO. If I was, I'd be looking already. In my local area. I do not need you to help me thank you very much. Presumably if you're single for too long, they switch tack and try and sell you a "Hug me" pillow or a World of Warcraft subscription instead.
- Engaged: "Look at all this shiny expensive wedding stuff! Woo! You should totally buy these monogrammed napkin rings! To make your wedding day extra special! Only £199 each!"
- Married: "Are you trying to get pregnant? There's a family planning clinic right here! BABIES YOU WANT TO HAVE LOTS AND LOTS OF BABIES. B.A.B.I.E.S."
- Just broken up: "Patronising relationship counselling HERE. Oh, and you fail at life."
- What ever I can get: Chlamydia testing kits, STI clinic locations and condoms.
- It's complicated: I'm not sure here. Prehaps the same as "Just broken up". Or maybe EVERYTHING. "You need this wedding cake and baby clothes and extra safe condoms and PLAY FARMVILLE and buy this vibrator and get counselling NOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW."
What does it say about the world we live in when someone, somewhere thought it would be a good idea to invent a "beautifying neck exercise gadget"? *Shakes head in a very worldweary fashion*
|Just imagining this makes me feel better :->|