Tuesday, 19 October 2010

Making a bad first impression

I am quite excellent at this (if I may say so myself :-D), so I feel it is only fair that I share with the world how to do this really, really well.

1) Meeting new housemates

When meeting housemates for the first time it is important to be on the way to do your weekly laundry, i.e. be carrying a brimming Ikea bag that smells... well... fresh. Also, as an added bonus, wear sandals with jeans (you know, the hiking-shop type ones) and a minty splashjacket even though you never wear it because you think that people think you're a bit of a tool for wearing one. Oh, and have the general "I've just been dragged through a hedge backwards" look. HAIR EVERYWHERE. (I was just going into college to throw some washing into a machine. I really didn't care....) THEN, when they inevitably ask what subject you do, say Astrophysics.
What my housemate probably wanted to see.
What they got.
Now, I thought saying you did maths was bad enough. People usually give you "The Look", accompanied, presumably by a little mental pop-up in their brains saying "Right. Move away slowly...." However, it's even worse saying you do Astrophysics, I'm afraid to say. They flinch when you say it. They have a little scrolling banner in their heads this time screaming "RUNNNNN. Run for the hills!!!!!!" It's basically the same reaction as when you wear The Leggings in public. Like round Tesco on a Sunday morning. People run from you.

2) Big rowing day

This is more of an apology really. To set the scene, I had just got back from Ely last Satuday (so smelt a bit) , I was wearing the leggings (again - I love cold weather!) and the t-shirt with the :-D face on it (from this post). Oh, and Oakleys. Mmmm. Oakleys.
You have to wear Oakleys to filter out the awesome rays emitted by Oakleys so they are safe to look at.
 Anyway, it was "big rowing day" on the Cam where loads of people who've never rowed before descend on all the college boathouses for tubbing-related japery. It also marks the 3rd anniversary of me rowing! (Wooo! PCBC FTW! :->).  So there I was, wearing some pretty scary kit and some very scary sunglasses on my bike on the hard dodging BBQs and freshers in their bloody "Leavers 10 :-D Look how young we are!!!!111!!!" hoodies and people carrying blades etc.
I was so distracted by (a) not killing anyone and (b) the glare from the mintyness on my legs that I actually cycled over some poor bastard's blade. I'm ashamed to say I was a bit of a twat and just said sorry as I rode off trying not to asphyxiate from laughing so hard. I think it was a St Catz macon. I feel a bit bad about this, so, for the record:


ANYWAY. So, my general advice is for everyone to take Astrophysics courses (I mean, "Astrophysical Fluid Dynamics" does sound awesome, doesn't it?) and wear bad kit while carting round loads of smelly clothes. That's how you get on in life! :-)

I mentioned earlier that I like cold weather, mainly because winter clothes are better. Oh, and for the joys of **TOAST** and soup for warming up with. For example, I drew this on the train this morning. I think it is a fair representation of what me and my friend Sarah looked like at 0620:
I've realised that I've missed off Sarah's iPhone. I apologise profusely for this oversight. And yes, we were that happy. We had HATS!
But yes, winter = great hats! The one shown above was aquired in a rather weird way, in that it orignally belonged to my mother. This happened whenever she wore it and she got pissed off:
So, as a consquence, she did the logical thing and gave it to her fashionable daughter.
+1 Hat! Result!
I have since discovered the true meaning of warmth. Also, if I wear it with my OAKLEYS and a snood (one of those neckwarmer things - my sister swears that this is what they're called...) I look like a Russian hitman! Woo!

There is one smal problem however. It is not offically winter yet, so I feel a little wussy wearing a hat in what is actually still summer. I'll explain: the seasons are judged on what my coach wears in Ely. This system I have called

He has a dog called Elmo YES IT'S A DOG THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
The PLSB is currently in summer mode. I therefore feel like I should only wear a one-piece all the time even though it's 4° and it's a 50mph headwind and it's hailing and your hands have frozen to the blade handles. But Peter's wearing shorts so MTFU and take off that longsleeve. I will update you when the barometer gets set to winter mode so you can wear your leggings again without being judged.

FINALLY, I found this and I challenge you not to smile just a tincy bit when you watch it (not a Rickroll - promise!) When I'm dancing in public, I like to think I look like the woman at the top of the staircase and not like I'm having a seizure. 


(I wish I knew how to embed youtube videos in blogger - if anyone knows can you tell me? They seemed to have disabled the embedding code...) 

On that note, good night!

Oh, and the "updating at 1700" thing? LIES. But I like the picture of the dinosaur so it's staying.

5 comments:

  1. Excellent blog. You are clearly fucking mental, which helps a lot with Ely... I spent a few years doing the same as you back when Don was in charge, sometime back in the stone age. I still miss Ely though - make the most of every miserable outing because no-where else is anywhere near as good.

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  2. "You are clearly fucking mental".

    That sir is a massive complement. Thank you :-)

    I will write a post about the bizarre weather systems that go on in that place on day. Queen Adelaide straight FTW :-)

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  3. "That sir is a massive complement. Thank you :-)"

    Any time!

    "I will write a post about the bizarre weather systems that go on in that place on day. Queen Adelaide straight FTW :-)"

    It's going to be a short post then:
    "Weather systems in Ely: always a head wind."

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  4. Sounds like rowing on the Thames. Head wind on the way up, turn around, still a goddamned head wind! Then a cruiser comes past in the middle of the river and washes you down and I die a little inside.

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  5. "Always a headwind". Too bloody right it is! :-D Annnnd the CUBC launches. Rage. AND AND AND who takes a cruiser out for a spin in the middle of winter down the straight anyway? There's not exactly a lot to see up there!

    My language is never as colourful as when some bastarding cruiser fills my footwell with wash.

    RAAAGGGGEEE.

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