|They would obviously be taught how to erg properly first by a demon with some sort of Concept2 qualification.|
|This is what the ergo screen would look like in hell.|
Variant 1: The "no backs"
Variant 2: The "permanently at backstops"
|There's a reason why you're pulling a 3:50 split at rate 50.|
Variant 3: The "WTF"
|People usually get hit by flailing limbs if they stand too close.|
There are many interesting variations of these erging styles. I'm sure someone could do proper scientific analysis on what is the *most* inefficient type of stroke.
But of course, it doesn't stop there. There is also what can only be termed obsession with erging on resistance 10 (granted, usually only with guys).
Even better than this was the time over Christmas in my gym at home. I think it was an 18K or something. Halfway through, someone got onto the erg next to me, did a few strokes of Variant 1, then proceeded to tell me that I wasn't erging properly. I was "leaning back too far" apparently. What I imagined doing was this:
|Why drink lucozade sport if you HAVEN'T DONE ANY EXERCISE? Yes, no doubt your carbohydrate stores are getting low and your electrolytes need replacing from the 3 mins you just did on the ergo. Moron.|
That pretty much concludes what I have to say on EFP. I should probably change subject before I give myself a hernia or something.
NO NO NO WAIT WAIT WAIT my google search for concept 2 screen to copy for the drawing above (because, surprisingly I wanted a reminder of what it looked like - I clearly need to erg more) turned up this:
I'm going with a probable variant 1, on resistance 10. Most likely wearing Nike basketball shorts and some sort of gun-show t shirt. Goes to the gym 3 times a week and does a lot of arm weights sitting on a bench in front of a mirror.
Not that I'm prejudice or anything.
BUT I AM.
Close one. Anyway, here is another great way of making your housemates hate you, in addition to filling your shared kitchen with apples and drying kit EVERYWHERE.
How to make your housemates hate you
You will need:
1x boat bag in need of a clean
1x bottle of fairy liquid (or supermarket equivalent!)
1x bath, w/ shower attachment
1x post it note
1x boat tie
1x rubbish bin
1x ability not to think things through properly
Wash your 27 foot boat bag in the bathroom.
|Yes, I have my name on it. And yes, I realise this makes me look like a bit of a twat.|
Use the boat tie to attach your boat bag to a bannister to dry. Put the bucket underneath it to catch the torrents of water that come off it.
|This is when living in a house designed by someone who was mentally ill with 5 floors and lots of staircases is a BONUS.|
|I was going to write just "Don't Ask" on it, but thought that would be a bit much.|
If you want to wash your boat bag, don't.
Even better was the fact I did all this in my new shiny t shirt that arrived yesterday :-) It has THIS on it:
|From the blog "Hyperbole and a Half", this blog post. If you've never visited it, THEN DROP EVERYTHING AND DO IT NOW***! It is quite simply genius: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/|
***You will do no work for the rest of the day if you visit this blog. But it'll be worth it, believe me.
UPDATE A new variant has been brought to my attention that deserves its own drawing (thanks Mary!).
Variant 4: "The hyper-Canadian"
Characterised by epic back lean (not uncommon among rowers - including me) + taking the handle past your head??!?!?!? NICE!