Thursday, 18 November 2010

More rants from IoERC

Firstly, great excitement (N.B. read the previous post first if you haven't already, or this will make no sense...)
Thank you NobleMarine for including blades in the value of my boat (and for Alison for pointing out this fact in last the post's comments). Just need to wait and see if they accept my claim...

I worked out that one new set of blades = 71 hours cleaning toilets last summer, hence the overwhelming relief that I will (hopefully) only have to pay my insurance excess.

It turns out that one little crash = £50 excess + c. 4hours T-cutting to get the 5m long OXFORD BLUE COLOURED scratch out of my boat (it would just have to be that colour wouldn't it?) + having to use said Oxford coloured blades as mine are a bit unusable now + epic hand shredding due to evil Stampfli orange grips of death. (Though let it be known I am very grateful for using said Oxford-y blades - thanks Andrea!)

Annndd breathe.

I did slightly scare the guy who crashed into me by mentioning the word "castration" in conjunction with the phrase "If you ever fucking touch my boat again" and "with a rusty spoon". Not necessarily in that order. (We're on good terms now though, I just had The Fucking Rage on Sunday. My swear tally took a bit of a hit...)

So yes, that's that cleared up. But I will miss you minty-blades-with-Durham-colour-coming-through-underneath :-(
We've been through a lot together :-(

But anyway. You will be pleased to know that I survived the date t'other day. I think. Well, I don't think I fucked up that much...Maybe.

I figured I was onto a winner when this happened:
Seriously. Exact words.
Just have to wait and see what happens on that front I suppose...


1) Fishermen

I do not understand this sport at all. So, you're going to get up at 5am to sit under an umbrella for very many hours staring at a piece of wire dangling in the water? And then probably not catch anything. And then if you do catch anything, you take a photo of it and throw it back in.

You do know you can buy fish from Sainsbury's right?

The reason they're really pissing me off at the moment is that they keep telling me to move out of the way while I'm sculling along.
OK, I don't swear at them. Unless they swear at me first.

I mean, you've got nothing to do except WATCH YOUR PIECE OF WIRE. I cannot see where I'm going, and even if I did turn round at exactly the right point, I'm not going to see you decked out in camoflage gear (don't understand this either - you're fishing, not bloody Bear Grylls) or your fucking INVISIBLE piece of wire. The river is straight. You can see me coming from miles away. Don't get pissy with me if I row into your line because it's your bloody fault. And no, I'm not going to row on the other side of the river to be hit by novices/cruisers/CUBC.


Rage. Rageragerage.

2) Buckaroo

OK, who leaves a game of Buckaroo in the computer room where I need to work? Seriously?

3) Filofax refills

I had to pay £4.50 for this:

*Random subject change*

Oh, I realised the other day that I'd been walking past this every time I went to an Astrofluids lecture.

Yes, that is Steven Hawking floating around in zero gravity. A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.

I'm also starting to get funny looks for taking photos of bits of the maths department. This is some PhD's office:

That is a serious Diet Coke addiction right there. The tall bit is at least 6 cans deep...

Ooo ooo ooo *random subject change 2*

So I decided to cycle out to Ely this morning, which I haven't done for a while. (It took me back to my CUWBC-overtraining-like-a-mental days. Pleasing. I've got my best scars and near-death experiences on that 19 mile route.... )

But anyway, with the infallible reasoning that it's OK to listen to music (in one ear...) while cycling in the dark because you can always see what's coming (even from behind you), I decided to whack on some Schubert*. For a change. I mean, you can get a little bored of Pendulum/Prodigy/random trance after a while.

So I was just making my way out of Cottenham when the E flat piano trio** came on, a lonely barn owl flew past, there was a tailwind AND I FELT LIKE A GOD.

It was a beautiful moment.

I then got cut up by a truck.

But for a moment there was perfection on the Twenty Pence Road. And it was good.

Thought I'd share.

*Get a 16 year-old Railton to learn to play some Schubert and she'll be obsessed for life.


  1. I too have a blue scratch on my shiny boat because some knobber at the end of a head race kept going and charged into me, and i had to let go of my right blade and it ended up under my boat. I was pretty pissed.

    Then I managed to get the blade back and he backed down into me AGAIN to offer 'help'. I resisted the temptation to actually kill him infront of his coach.

    I once managed to crash into some fishing line, get it tangled around my impeller and row 12k with some fishing line complete with bait and hook trailing from my stern. I didn't catch anything though :(

  2. @Tom: Your own blade went under your boat? How on earth....? You must of fallen in too?

    Everyone seems to get the rage at fishermen I've found. I've only had one proper impeller-tangling and that was with some poor 10 year old boy, so I didn't get cross at him. He had to cut his line and I had to stick my hand under my boat to try and get his tackle (ha!) back (apparently those things are quite expensive...). I then had to do an outing with a load of wire jamming up my impeller and picking up flotsam... *sigh*

  3. I didn't fall in luckily, probably because I wasn't moving so the blade didn't drag in the water, that and my amazing balance skillz.

    I spent far too long on paint drawing this depiction of how my blade managed to go under my boat:

  4. I am *seriously* impressed with that drawing (you've even got the filipi stripes :->). And for not falling in. And the rage fist :-D


    I did have a blade pop out while paddling along the other day. Thankfully I'd spent a fair amount of time in the summer learning how to swap blades over in my gates so having one blade trailing nonchalently next to my boat wasn't too much of a problem :-> (I'd have probably have died if I'd have fallen in anyway...)

  5. Haha, thanks!

    I've spent rather too much time with only one blade, and most of it has been my fault! Like boating with one gate the wrong way round and having to fix it on the water (the dangers of getting in the wrong side of the boat!), or not doing a gate up properly and having the blade pop out and start drifting off towards the stern!

    I don't know about swapping blades over though, don't you need both blades out at the same time? Sounds dodgy to me!

  6. You have to wedge one of them under your rigger.

    I fell in A LOT trying to do this. (I used a club janny because I didn't want to fall out of the pacher :-S)

  7. Madness! Is that one of those crazy skills they make you do at GB assessment camps?

    It's not a skill you'd normally need unless you're really bad at remembering which blade goes where, so I'll probably give it a miss :D

  8. Naaa, just my coach's idea of a funny thing for me to try and do...

  9. Hello,

    just found your blog via RowPerfect and I have to say its thoroughly enjoyable. Distressed and relieved to read that your blades are ok. Also, agreement re: the fishermen. All fishermen. And their fathers. For passing the 'art' along. Keep up the entries and the cartoons.


  10. What gets me is the fishermen who sit on one side of the river, but seem determined to catch the (non-existent) fish which might be swimming on the other side using a massive rod to block the whole river. Most satisfaction ever is getting a whole line of them lifting their rods up to let you scull past....

  11. Oh and also, what's wrong with Stampfli grips? It doesn't get any better than Stampfli grips!


    And what's with the way they leave orange dust all over you?

    @Cian: I'm so glad there are so many people out there who share my hatred of fishermen. I think a much easier option would be to go along to a fishmonger, pick up a fish, take a photo then put it back. They wouldn't even have to buy it!

    Retards, the lot of them.

  13. Once, a fisherman at Ely watched one of my scullers go past and then, scowling, yelled at us: "What's the fucking point of rowing up and down the river all day?" I was left speechless.

    Oh, and Anna, I think you should join some dating websites and just put a link to your blog as your personal ad. It would be interesting to see what sort of man you would attract. I wouldn't meet any of them in a secluded place though.

  14. Stampfli cheese graters are not cool. I'm sure they get extra slippy when wet too.

    Speaking of not cool, Scullers Head. It's going to be fucking freezing, I may not survive sitting around at the start, let alone my first Tideway experience in a single with the forecast wind!

    If you don't hear from me again after Saturday I either froze to death, or capsized and have retired from rowing due to the embarassment!

  15. @ Mary: Err.... thanks? It's all about being quirky anyway :-)

    @ Tom: One of my friends is starting off 482nd and is womdering how long she's going to last before she dies of exposure.

    At least you're not a lwt woman :-)

  16. True! Luckily I resisted the temptation of IM3.lwt so I'm going off around 280 places before 482nd.

    They should probably set the lwt women off first if it's going to be that cold, think of the surface area to volume ratio!