This is for everyone who's ever had one of those days.
|Tesco value toasters only have three settings: "Burn", "Cremate" and "Spontaneously combust". I think Tesco value toasters pretty much define the phrase "false economy".|
|Stupid carrots. Why don't they taste nice?|
|I seem to be magnetically attracted to wet floor signs. I always walk into them.|
Even though they're fucking BRIGHT YELLOW.
Spatial awareness fail.
|FUCKING STICKY UP ROCKS. I HATE YOU.|
This actually really fucked me off. I mean, you don't buy this for it to only last 8 months. Especially when in 5 of those months it never got used anyway on account of it being SUMMER. Fucking cateye Wiggle rage. I have had to emergency buy a head-torch while Wiggle sorts my stupid light out, so on the plus I do now have a kick ass head-torch. Even if I did have to spend money I don't have on said head-torch so I can actually get home from the department without dying. I blinded some pedestrians with it accidentally on the way home too. I do look a bit stupid wearing it too BUT IT'S A HEAD-TORCH and head-torches are awesome. Mainly because I can pretend I'm exploring a subterranean crystal cave or long lost tomb and I'm not just wearing it so I don't get hit by a car. But cateye bike light rage. RAAAAGGEE.
EDIT Wiggle have since sorted it and I now have a new one (their customer service is pretty bang on actually...)
Why am I always wearing a fucking white hoody when this happens ay?
Will do something more wordy + ranty + maybe funny next time. If fortran hasn't got the better of me...
EDIT: OK, either a cup of tea or a weights session. That'll make everything better. Squats always make everything better.
I'm also going to shamelessly point you in the direction of the "Homeless drawings" tab at the top of the page, in case you've not found it already. (I've just looked back over them and thought "Fuck me, these have been touched by the crazy fairy a bit haven't they?" But meh. I like chasing stuff.)
EDIT EDIT: Watch this. It is beautiful rowing. BEAUTIFUL.
EDIT EDIT EDIT: Edited to add more swears. There was nowhere near enough originally. Sorry.